Written by Virginia Eaton —
Early one morning I was stopped at the signal by the library when one of those monstrously long gravel trucks attempted to stop as the light turned from yellow to red. It was just too big, and rolled through the intersection after the light was decidedly red.
Meanwhile, a car that was anxious to go had to wait for the truck to clear the intersection. The driver was incensed and blew his horn for the duration of the truck’s slow roll. Then, rather than turning left as he intended, the driver of the car changed his mind and pulled up beside the cab of the truck, which was still moving slowly.
He rolled down his window to give the trucker his opinion of the situation, complete with shaking fist. As this unfolded, traffic had to stop to accommodate the man in the car playing out his road rage while the rest of us waited. When he finally zipped away, all I could think about was how stressed this poor man must be!
There was a period in my life when everything I knew was falling apart. My level of stress was off the charts, as several of those most dear to me were in their own life and death struggle. I slept very little; I ate virtually nothing and that depleted state meant I moved through my day like a zombie.
In the midst of this I received a phone call that my son had been hit by a car while riding his bike to school. He was sent by ambulance to the hospital and, while he was “fine,” he needed an MRI since his helmet was cracked.
As I drove toward the hospital driving along a road I knew well, I ran a red light. Not a red light that had just turned red but one that had been red for a good bit of time. Luckily, I was not hit and I did not hit anyone else. There were plenty of people who, rightly, could have honked their horns and shook their fists at me, but didn’t. My mind was so consumed with worry and the “what-ifs” I didn’t realize what had happened until I was through the wide intersection. I was very lucky!
In the best of worlds, people would drive their cars sensibly, keeping their attention on the task at hand. Since that is often not the case, I have had to find a way to keep myself from diving down the rabbit hole of road rage.
When someone zips by me at an untenable speed or abruptly pulls out in front of me, rather than assuming some very unkind, hostile sorts of things (you know exactly what I mean), I think about how much stress that person must be under to behave in such a way. I wonder if he or she is on the way to lend a hand to a parent who has fallen, perhaps, or to the hospital where bad news awaits. I am not naive, I know most of the time those assumptions may not be accurate but, it changes my reaction to the situation and really, that’s what matters.
My blood pressure doesn’t go up, I don’t feel the need to chase them down and shake my first at them. While I would love for everyone to chill out when they are behind the wheel, I can’t change anyone else — all I can change is my reaction to the world in front of me.
Next time the crazy driver cuts you off or makes you frustrated, just for fun — or the sake of preserving your sanity — imagine a scenario that would excuse that behavior or at least make it less maddening. This isn’t about encouraging bad behavior or changing the role of the CHP in ticketing reckless drivers, this is strictly about managing your thinking around a situation so you don’t get all worked up.
It’s about maintaining your sanity regardless of what is happening in this crazy world, because really, that is all you can control.
Read more of Virginia Eaton’s blog posts here.
Virginia Eaton is the owner of Oakhurst wellness center Class: The Body Pastiche
